So this morning I was standing in the kitchen, fixing myself a cup of coffee, when I heard a loud noise. It startled me and I spilled my coffee all over the place...my shirt included.
The guard dragon outside the front door had belched up some flame, and the sound was like a small thunderclap. My Druid friend's blessed tree was fried to a crisp, and the smell on the patio was like a box of rotten eggs exploded. I really need to bring the wolf over here and send that dragon to an ogre friend.
I threw my shirt in the sink to soak and set about cleaning up.
Turns out he wasn't just belching. He was announcing the arrival of a band of tourists out visiting homes. I had forgotten I'd registered the cottage with the Homeshow Directory.
If it had been Freeportians, there's a chance it would have been less of a disaster. Not only would the smell have not bothered any of them, but when a Freeportian acts up in your home, you're welcome to deliver whatever punishment you see fit. As a result, Freeportians, defying stereotype, are well behaved and scrupulously polite, knowing that they may end up under your floorboards for poor behavior.
Qeynosians, on the other hand, are not so cautious. Their "just" laws protect them and so they feel FREE to opine and pontificate to their hearts content. In this case, in my kitchen, noses in the air, with me standing there holding a tea towel over my chest, pondering an international incident.
It wasn't a great start to the day. I think I'll be doing some touring of Qeynosian homes this evening, after hours.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Catching Up
Past Journal Entries:
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Today I met some lovely people on the road. They were so nice, in fact, they gave me their jewelry and a little gold thing one gnome man called a "time keeper." Fancy that!
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I scored a nice, easy gig 'reacquiring' valuables upon one of the travel vessels leaving Qeynos. Or so I thought. This whole Raptor Breeding Program they've added is the pits! I had to pry a LOT of teeth out of my chain mail after work today and the bruises...oy vey. Now I have to go hire someone to repair this set, which will be expensive. I had not thought to include Raptor Damage in the pre-agreed work-related-expenses. FML
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Today our raid leader locked us in a small room with an angry 400,000 pound dragon.
Hilarity ensued (not).
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Dear Diary, today I was going to go out and adventure, but I seem to have caught Froglok Flu. Symptoms are turning green and, well, let's say I'm going through a lot of kleenex. I've been moping around the house sniffling and reading books to keep busy. I picked up a book called The Big Bang Theory about the Drednever Expedition. It was pretty short, actually... the expedition, that is. The book was written by the OCD gnome engineer who blew up the ship. Wasn't much of a twist given the title and ...well, having BEEN at the wreck of the ship. Surprising lack of regret from the gnome. I always see them as tiny sociopaths...
Later Note:
I'm glad they sell cures for this over the counter. I though I'd just ride it out and save my coins but after 7 fireflies, 2 spiders and trying to actually swallow a kliknik beetle, I decided enough was enough. It REALLY did not help that the vender was a Fae. It's lucky he thought to spread his wings when he did.
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Today I thought I would go out, get back on track and train. I spent some time at Bayle's pickpocketing pickpockets, scaled the outside wall of the Overlord's Citadel (stopped in to the clerk's office for a scone), ran the Thundering Steppes route for J-Boots twice, dropped in to Enchanted Lands for a Bixie Honey and JumJum smoothie, then practiced pullups hanging from the legs of an ogre's griffin while it flew across an icy sea. I had a nice dinner with Mayong (ribeye and fresh broccoli for me, glass of the red stuff for him), then ran back out to do a quick contract for Lucan. Good day, in all. Probably not as assertive as I should have been in my training, but something is better than nothing, my friends!
Later Note:
In case anyone wondered about that contract, it was just a quick collection on an Existence Fee owed by some High Elf guests.
Really pretty easy work. High elves don't accept that a lowly you would be speaking to beautiful them and refuse to admit they're being mugged at all. You can pretty much do your work in peace, if you're out of sight of a guard, Barbarian or Human (what is WITH humans that they have to interfere in *every*thing?). Easy peasy. I took an extra 50% commission and remembered to add on travel expenses this time. Lucan can eat an ogre's shorts if he thinks I'm going to feed my griffin on ether alone.
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Dear Diary, I wish Baker Voleen would give in to my bribes and start franchising. It really sucks having to sneak into Qeynos to get myself a decent latte. I tried suggesting she open a stand out in Antonica or in Enchanted Lands, but her business does so well in Qeynos, she won't budge. Says she's bending the rules just to sell to me in the first place.
Such a pity, this is rough and I'm getting a little worn out! The other day, a guard spotted me mid-croissant. It's a good thing I've learned to eat on the run, or I'd have had to finish my lunch in the sewers. Never a great experience and unless you're a troll, the last place for a picnic.
Speaking of...I need to find another way into town. I don't think I'm helping debunk the myth that Freeportians stink by coming in from this direction... I do indeed stink by the time I get out of there. Gods, what I go through for a latte and a snack!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today I met some lovely people on the road. They were so nice, in fact, they gave me their jewelry and a little gold thing one gnome man called a "time keeper." Fancy that!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I scored a nice, easy gig 'reacquiring' valuables upon one of the travel vessels leaving Qeynos. Or so I thought. This whole Raptor Breeding Program they've added is the pits! I had to pry a LOT of teeth out of my chain mail after work today and the bruises...oy vey. Now I have to go hire someone to repair this set, which will be expensive. I had not thought to include Raptor Damage in the pre-agreed work-related-expenses. FML
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today our raid leader locked us in a small room with an angry 400,000 pound dragon.
Hilarity ensued (not).
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Diary, today I was going to go out and adventure, but I seem to have caught Froglok Flu. Symptoms are turning green and, well, let's say I'm going through a lot of kleenex. I've been moping around the house sniffling and reading books to keep busy. I picked up a book called The Big Bang Theory about the Drednever Expedition. It was pretty short, actually... the expedition, that is. The book was written by the OCD gnome engineer who blew up the ship. Wasn't much of a twist given the title and ...well, having BEEN at the wreck of the ship. Surprising lack of regret from the gnome. I always see them as tiny sociopaths...
Later Note:
I'm glad they sell cures for this over the counter. I though I'd just ride it out and save my coins but after 7 fireflies, 2 spiders and trying to actually swallow a kliknik beetle, I decided enough was enough. It REALLY did not help that the vender was a Fae. It's lucky he thought to spread his wings when he did.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today I thought I would go out, get back on track and train. I spent some time at Bayle's pickpocketing pickpockets, scaled the outside wall of the Overlord's Citadel (stopped in to the clerk's office for a scone), ran the Thundering Steppes route for J-Boots twice, dropped in to Enchanted Lands for a Bixie Honey and JumJum smoothie, then practiced pullups hanging from the legs of an ogre's griffin while it flew across an icy sea. I had a nice dinner with Mayong (ribeye and fresh broccoli for me, glass of the red stuff for him), then ran back out to do a quick contract for Lucan. Good day, in all. Probably not as assertive as I should have been in my training, but something is better than nothing, my friends!
Later Note:
In case anyone wondered about that contract, it was just a quick collection on an Existence Fee owed by some High Elf guests.
Really pretty easy work. High elves don't accept that a lowly you would be speaking to beautiful them and refuse to admit they're being mugged at all. You can pretty much do your work in peace, if you're out of sight of a guard, Barbarian or Human (what is WITH humans that they have to interfere in *every*thing?). Easy peasy. I took an extra 50% commission and remembered to add on travel expenses this time. Lucan can eat an ogre's shorts if he thinks I'm going to feed my griffin on ether alone.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Diary, I wish Baker Voleen would give in to my bribes and start franchising. It really sucks having to sneak into Qeynos to get myself a decent latte. I tried suggesting she open a stand out in Antonica or in Enchanted Lands, but her business does so well in Qeynos, she won't budge. Says she's bending the rules just to sell to me in the first place.
Such a pity, this is rough and I'm getting a little worn out! The other day, a guard spotted me mid-croissant. It's a good thing I've learned to eat on the run, or I'd have had to finish my lunch in the sewers. Never a great experience and unless you're a troll, the last place for a picnic.
Speaking of...I need to find another way into town. I don't think I'm helping debunk the myth that Freeportians stink by coming in from this direction... I do indeed stink by the time I get out of there. Gods, what I go through for a latte and a snack!
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